Interpersonal relationships can be a source of great joy and happiness in our lives, but they can also be a tremendous cause of suffering, heartache and pain. As we move through our lives, we encounter all types of people with varied personalities. Some are a good match, while others create conflict. Regardless of whether another person is directly related to you, is a neighbor, co-worker or friend, the interactions we have can affect our emotions and well-being.
Because of how important relationships are to the human psyche, we must better understand how we view others as well as how we view ourselves. Holding a person to a very high standard; having exceedingly high expectations for someone; or placing a person on a pedestal can all create the opportunity for great disappointment and frustration. Likewise, when we place limitations on the people in our lives—for example, viewing them as less worthy or making judgments about them that are negative—we create situations where the possible outcomes are undesirable and potentially destructive. There is also a tendency for people to project themselves onto others; this behavior, by itself, can create problems. Projection is when an individual places his or her own fears, issues of self-worth and self-confidence onto another person with whom he is interacting. Without having any idea how the other person feels, there are already assumptions being made about his or her feelings and perspective that are based solely on this projection.
We can see from these examples that the way we view others—when having preconceived notions about them—sets the stage for interpersonal conflict and unnecessary suffering. If you are currently having issues with people who have let you down or have become the source of pain in your life, then the time has come to introduce a new way of interacting that will create a more positive outcome.
Before we continue, we want to be clear about the pain others can cause. We are not condoning interactions that have any level of abuse. If you are in an abusive relationship, we strongly suggest that you seek professional help.
How can I improve my relationships?
Since relationships play such a vital role in this reality, it’s imperative that we better understand them and learn how to improve the interactions that take place. When spending time trying to improve a relationship, it’s important to note that oftentimes the source of conflict doesn’t reside within the other person; it has to do with you and your perceptions. This is not the time to place blame. Rather, it’s an opportunity for great understanding and personal growth.
When attempting to improve the relationships in your life, there is one tool that can provide clarity, harmony and peace. It can be implemented with ease and provide freedom from undue pain and suffering. This tool is called full acceptance. Allow us to explain what it is and how to use it.
The greatest respect you can pay others is to fully accept them for who they are, where they are at in life and what they want to do. It’s extremely important that we are clear about this level of acceptance. You must remove any and all of your projections, expectations and limitations from that relationship.
If you want people in your life to fully accept you for who you are, then you must provide the same level of acceptance in return. The saying “treat others as you would like to be treated” is applicable and should be implemented. Eliminate the judgments that you once carried and placed onto others; those beliefs do not serve you or those with whom you interact. By using full acceptance, you peacefully co-exist with people, creating relationships that are based on trust and contain great positive potential.
