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What Defines Your Character?
Do you define yourself by the circumstances in your life? Are you defined by your accomplishments and the possessions you have amassed? Have you crafted stories about these things that you repeat over and over again? These questions are important, as they help illuminate how easy it is to define our character based on external events, possessions and accomplishments. We must understand that the definition of our character has nothing to do with these things; they are all part of our external reality.
So what defines my character?
The true definition of a person’s character has to do with his actions in response to the events in his life. What this means is that your character is clearly defined by what actions you take when things happen to you.
There are certain defining moments in life that provide character definition. These moments can vary depending on the person, yet everyone will experience them. A common example is how you perform under extreme duress or in times of uncertainty. Were you able to rise to the occasion and do the right thing? Did you perform admirably or did you fall short? When reflecting back on that moment, your actions help to provide definition of your character.
When delving into this subject, one of the realizations many people face is that they are dominated by their ego. It plays a major role in interpreting their reality. Ego-based thinking is primarily concerned with survival, and can easily become hyper-focused on acquisition and/or domination of people, places and things. On the flip side, the ego can also make a person feel a variety of negative emotions, leading him to act out in response to those feelings. The ego perpetuates a mindset that life should be based on events, circumstances, possessions and accomplishments. While these things are important to many people, it’s essential to understand that true character is not defined in this manner. In a previous blog post titled “Ego Identification,” we discussed what the ego is, how it controls you and how you can control it. Learning how to identify your ego is important, so we suggest you take the time to read through that post.
Another challenge faced by some people seeking to define their character is a behavioral trait known as a “storyteller”. These people will create stories comprised of past events that help to provide them with a sense of identity, as well as a source to derive a definition for their character. These stories are not always factual. They also can easily be embellished as they are repeated over and over again. They will regurgitate these tales so many times that they become a part of their reality. If you find yourself embodying some of the behaviors of a “storyteller,” it is important to understand that who you really are has nothing to do with the stories you tell.
We hope you have found this post informative. The next time you are faced with something happening to you, try to resist the tendency to focus on the event or circumstance. Rather, ask yourself, “What am I going to do about this?” Don’t just focus on the event; place your energy and attention on your actions while aiming to respond to the best of your capabilities.
